I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
