First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
