You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i need some magic done to my vagina
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
