But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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