ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
