Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
