So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
