Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
