Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize