drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
