i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
