Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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