so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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