This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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