Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
