I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
