Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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