I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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