Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize