You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
is wine microwaveable?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize