Betty ford says i'm here all night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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