4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
