i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
