He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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