Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Pooping to opera.
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