So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
