I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
