now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
