Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
