i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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