Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
