i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
