I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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