I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
well I can't set my house on fire every night
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
