Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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