Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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  (716): fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck. http://tfl.nu/62ha
  Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (860)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.

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  (660): And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this. http://tfl.nu/if6q
  Replies (3) Good night (3117) Bad night (726)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.

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  (516): Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter. http://tfl.nu/yfry
  Replies (74) Good night (733) Bad night (6526)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.

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  (731): who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you. http://tfl.nu/e0pj
  Replies (39) Good night (5299) Bad night (2342)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.

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  (513): Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team. http://tfl.nu/vssn
  Replies (7) Good night (3294) Bad night (805)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye

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  (336): Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye http://tfl.nu/fu4x
  Replies (25) Good night (3626) Bad night (1053)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty

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  (732): I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty http://tfl.nu/54ho
  Replies (11) Good night (860) Bad night (1473)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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  (812): No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety. http://tfl.nu/ybkw
  Replies (5) Good night (941) Bad night (531)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up

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  (215): When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up http://tfl.nu/2k98
  Replies (9) Good night (500) Bad night (2039)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself

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  (309): Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself http://tfl.nu/lvoc
  Replies (6) Good night (491) Bad night (982)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned

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  (908): And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned http://tfl.nu/t8ci
  Replies (8) Good night (958) Bad night (401)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Marry him now.

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  (330): And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain (330): Marry him now. http://tfl.nu/1169
  Replies (6) Good night (1242) Bad night (461)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?

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  (615): You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass... (931): And you wonder why you're always one of the guys? http://tfl.nu/4fld
  Replies (1) Good night (781) Bad night (319)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night

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  (586): The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night http://tfl.nu/8plh
  Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (251)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes

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  (614): hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/9g7z
  Replies (0) Good night (275) Bad night (493)

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