There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.