Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested