ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.