office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
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Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?