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Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
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