ADVERTISEMENT

• (480): View more from Arizona

  Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?

  Fav 21 4603 1280

  share tweet
  

• (510): View more from California

  i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.

  Fav 16 860 4844

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (714): View more from California

  turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker

  Fav 14 9805 1812

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility

  Fav 11 3651 1332

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job

  Fav 27 1794 3691

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now

  Fav 18 2473 820

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.

  Fav 8 2659 875

  share tweet
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?

  Fav 11 1874 1064

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.

  Fav 15 834 1390

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (626): View more from California

  I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?

  Fav 2 1030 566

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...

  Fav 3 843 621

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (305): View more from Florida

  I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.

  Fav 5 1252 805

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...

  Fav 5 1064 618

  share tweet
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding

  Fav 2 875 597

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.

  Fav 0 70 28

  share tweet
  

Randomize