HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
