After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
