She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
