We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize