Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
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He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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