white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
