dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
