i need an iv and a liver transplant
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
