Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
