I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Congratulations! We have a period
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize