Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
