Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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