oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
