Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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