Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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