oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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