thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
