i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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