i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
