is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
