we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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