Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This house was built for laser tag.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
