I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
