is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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