Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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