I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have feelings that need drinking.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
