I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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