I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
