brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so that wasnt chicken after all
i think my mom watched the whole time
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
