so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
